Beef Bourgignon, A Recipe to Make You Famous
Purchase
a mass of meat equal to your desire, ensuring that your butcher does not indulge
in any deviant behaviour, such as trimming the lard off.
Stock the larder with bacon pieces, 1 lb mushrooms, 3 onions, 2 tblspoons
tomato paste, 4 heartless cloves garlic, bayleaf, 2 cups unskimmed chicken
stock, and 3-4 cups of good Burgundy.
Drink
the wine - buy some more.
N.B.
- This is an HLR™ (High Lard Recipe). You're
going to need a lot of lard.
Brown
the mushrooms in butter.
Brown
the onions in more butter.
Blanch
the bacon bits. Brown in a pan,
making sure not to jettison the resulting lard.
Add some olive oil. Brown
the meat mass.
Mix
everything up together in a bucket.
What
is lard without salt?
Leave
to hobojate for 2-3 hours.
Pour
yourself some wine.
Five
minutes before serving, gather your guests around to watch the decisive step.
Prepare a roux with ½ cup flour, ½ cup butter.
Hold your breath and pour carefully into the dish, watching the sauce
thicken before your eyes. If your
guests swoon in high-cholesterol rapture, you will know you have succeeded.
