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Editorial - Issue 4 Once upon a time, there was lard, and lots of it, in a wee little place called Paris. And also in this wee little place called Paris lived a handful of lard-loving creatures. Now, these creatures were not terribly wee, and they became less and less wee as the years rolled on, but they did have a strange habit. Every Friday and Saturday night, and one or two evenings during the week, they would gather round a table and consume great quantities of wine and cheese and a number of greasy chickens too. Then they would sit back in the afterglow of gluttony and wonder what they could do while digesting, other than just teaching English and riding around on the Paris transit system. Then it came to them like a divine inspiration, like a winged herald of good tidings, like a drop of grease rolling off a barbecued pork chop sizzling on the charcoal. They would all write stories to share their joys with those less hedonistically inclined! After months of hard work, dedication and countless garlic-stuffed sausages, these not-so-wee creatures amassed a stack of grease-stained manuscripts and quite a few empty bottles too. But what were they to do with them all? The empty bottles were easily replaced with fuller versions, but the writings were another problem altogether. After much deliberation and rather generous portions of boeuf Bourguignon, our heros (as we know them) decided to consider themselves writers, call their scribblings “contemporary literature” and create a vehicle by which other people could read these new artistic endeavors on a semi-regular basis. And thus was born The Wheneverly. Now in its seventh year, and on its fourth edition, The Wheneverly brings you the latest in contemporary literature and culinary wonders from around the globe. This issue, breaking with a tradition of extensive eclecticism, is based on a central theme: Bedtime horror stories for children who really ought to be sleeping. Out of the thousands of submissions, only these eight were deemed worthy of publication. However, should other laggardly writers get around to jotting some not-necessarily coherent ramblings on the same subject sometime in the near future, the editorial staff would see to it that their submissions are published on the Internet version of the magazine, The Wheneverly Online, thus ensuring that they reach an audience of at least several million. It’s the least we can do.
R.B.& J.B. |