Exploding Tarte Tatin - A Recipe to Make You Cry
WARNING: The pursuit of saturated-fat culinary perfection demands many sacrifices from the aspiring novice. We accept no liability for any damage, real, imagined or intra-vascular, caused by misuse of the following recipe.
The essence of effective cooking with fat lies in simplicity. Purchase a large Pyrex dish. Melt some butter in the dish until it forms a small lake. When it froths, add 150 g of sugar and then sliced golden apples in a pleasing geometric pattern. The symmetry of the pattern is essential to the success of this dish! Cook in a medium (one log) oven until caramel forms and the smell of browning butter melts your heart.
Take the pastry which you have prepared earlier (and remember pastry only tastes as good as the quality of your lard) and roll it over the top. Again the symmetry of the steam holes you create with a fork are vital to the outcome! Cook in a hot oven (two logs) until golden brown.
You’re in the home stretch. Place the Pyrex dish on the stovetop and heat vigorously for 45 seconds only. Remove from heat. Cover with a board and invert quickly. With luck you should see the Tarte Tatin drop neatly onto the board. Now comes the tricky part: take a spoon and insert under the edge of the Pyrex dish. VERY IMPORTANT: keep your face averted at this point. Lift the dish. If you’ve done everything right the thermal differential as cool air flows suddenly inside the tarte will cause the Pyrex to twist and explode violently, showering vicious shards of glass all over the kitchen and, with a little luck, into the living room and all over your drunken guests as well.
Once the shock has worn off, your guests will probably try and eat what little of the exploded tarte is still intact. YOU MUST NOT LET THEM! Immediately serve some poached pears with melted dark chocolate sauce, liberally doused in vodka. All thoughts of the exploded tarte will quickly evaporate.
Immortality is yours once again, thanks as always to The Wheneverly.
